Best friends are like diamonds, precious and rare.
False friends are like leaves, found everywhere.
322
Tuesday, May 5, 2009, 5:16 PM

I am privating this blog soon, again.Hate being in this kind of situation. Now I really envy Olm fr being happy and having freedom. Not trapped in the heart, like me.

Why did things ended just like that? I thought we would be good friends, forever. But now, I'm 101% nothing in your heart. I thought you cared for me. Prolly it was all just about my thinking. Everything is all about me, ny wishful part of thinking. Why am I so dumb and stupid? Allowing myself to fall deeper in this situation when I alr know what would be the outcome. I really want to leave but I just couldn't bear too. I know I have too. If I don't let it go now, when can I? It's really getting too deep. Everything thing I do, I would think of you. "What are you doing now? Have you eaten? What if you're hungry?" Many questions I asked myself. But I don't think you care. I've tried really hard to carry this on, myself. I don't see you trying either. You just don't care how I feel. I shall just continue trying even harder, I'll decide again in the future, when I have fallen deeper.

Cried last night because my heart really ached. I finally experienced it. I have never been hurt before. My heart was really painful. I felt it aching. I was really sad. Obviously you dont care/bother how hurt I was. And dear N wanted to commit suicide. My crying because worse because I imagined dear N committing suicide!?!??!?! Plz, dear, dont. I can really imagine N committing suicide. And I was hell scared. Please, dont. You shouldn't. You're just 15 coming 16. N even planned a date to leave the world. Same as me, we hated the world. We're sick of everything in the world. BUT I AINT DYING. I wna experience true love.

I just can't put it down.




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Kel P, 7Sept

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